Making promises that we can't keep

I have been thinking of what people think of me when they interact with me. What kind of impression do they get? Is it good or is it bad? I profess to be a Christian but I wonder whether they get that impression or otherwise.

If I talk about the Word and quote verses all day long, and sing His praise, does that make me a Christian? If they spend but a moment with me, they might think that I am a Christian just because I might have said a few verses, sang a hymn while at it or putting Jesus in every few sentences. But does that make me a Christian?

Is a Christian identified by these things that I mentioned above? Actions speak louder than words! Just as spouses can express affection to each other by saying it, it's more meaningful when actions speak the language of love.

Love is a word we use often whether in relationships or with Christ but what language are your actions speaking? Do we carelessly say we love God but our actions contradicting our words. I have been thinking a lot about this, lately. At the end of the day it doesn't mean anything after all, they are just words. It is like promising to do something but never coming around to doing it. I don't know about you, but i don't like it when a person promises something that they cannot honor or make the effort to honor.

I myself however, make promises that I don't always keep and have made a few that I have broken. I try not to, but sometimes I find myself doing the very thing I don't like done to me, to others.  There are some who enjoy promising knowing that they won't keep them but I think for most of us, we promise in the hope that we will be able to keep them but fall short most of the time. We don't intentionally play with words, at least I try not to.

As Christians, when we are baptized, we make a public commitment, a promise to follow the lamb whithersoever He goeth. We promise to live a life different from what we have been accustomed to which was not according to God's will. We promise that the old man is dead, and it is now the new man living the new life in Christ. We promise to love God for richer or for poorer, in sickness or in health, in plenty or in poverty. We promise to love God even unto death which even that cannot separate us from His love.

The promise or oath to walk a new walk with God is a promise to love Him and put Him first from then on, as is written in the verse:

[37] Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.
[38] This is the first and great commandment.
[39] And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
[40] On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets. Matthew 22:37-40.



We make all these promises on that day hoping to keep them but soon realize that they might have been empty promises. Soon we realize that it is not as easy to love God and put Him first no matter what as it is to say it. Soon we realize that it is not as easy to love our neighbour as it is to say it.


The language of love is a language of action not words. Words do not mean anything when it comes to love, though they may sound good and be impressive. For a loved one it can be expressed through a bouquet of flowers, maybe a rose, art, poetry, notes, letters, etc but it is best and truly expressed through actions. One can write a beautiful poem about how much he loves his spouse today, but turn around and divorce them next week. Was it really love then or were they empty words that meant something for that moment?


I have promised God to love Him no matter what, but my words and my actions are the opposite. I find myself daily in situations where I might doubt His promises and ability to provide and deliver in the time of trouble no matter what the circumstances. I find myself in situations where I do not react as appropriately as I should have in hindsight in my interactions with others. I find myself regretting having said words which I cannot take back now which did nothing but crush the other person's spirit.


I find myself in situations where my pride gets the better of me and which could have been easily solved if I had just humbled myself and done what the Lord would have done in my place or would have me to do. I find myself being selfish when I know better not to be. I find myself doing things and saying things in my heart that I cannot express here. Our situations are best expressed in the following verses:

[18] For I know that in me (that is, in my flesh,) dwelleth no good thing: for to will is present with me; but how to perform that which is good I find not.
[19] For the good that I would I do not: but the evil which I would not, that I do.
[20] Now if I do that I would not, it is no more I that do it, but sin that dwelleth in me. Romans 7:18-20.


This is not love. Though I can talk about it and quote verses, though i have a desire to be a better man, I find myself many times daily having fallen short of the promise I made to God to love Him no matter what and to love my neighbour as myself. They are words and mean nothing unless if they are matched by my actions. I know what I am supposed to do performing what I say or know better to do, I cannot.

I am speaking about my own struggles here and I am sure there are many out there who agree. Just as Paul said:

[21] I find then a law, that, when I would do good, evil is present with me.
[22] For I delight in the law of God after the inward man:
[23] But I see another law in my members, warring against the law of my mind, and bringing me into captivity to the law of sin which is in my members.
[24] O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?
[25] I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. Romans 7:21-25.

This language of love can not be expressed through words. Words are just empty promises we make to God to love Him and our neighbour. Love is a spiritual language and therefore cannot be expressed by mere words but by actions through a spiritual connection to Christ as is written:

[14] For we know that the law is spiritual: but I am carnal, sold under sin. Romans 7:14.

The Ten commandments, the law are a summary of love. Love for God and Love for man (our neighbour). The Law is spiritual but we are carnal or fleshly. How can we worship God who is spiritual when we are in the flesh, as is written:

[24] God is a Spirit: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth. John 4:24.

We can promise God to love Him and keep His law, but to love; to keep His law is only possible by a living, daily, spiritual connection to Christ.

To express love through our actions, to truly put God first and to love our neighbour as ourselves, it is written:

[24] Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Matthew 16:24.

By self denial, carrying the cross and dying to self daily and following Christ, we mantain a connection to Him through the Spirit and that is how we can truly love through actions and not just words, as is written:

[18] My little children, let us not love in word, neither in tongue; but in deed and in truth. 1 John 3:18.



Christ told us to do these 3 things daily because He knew that if we let our guard down and don't do things daily, we will just promise to love Him and others but not be able to keep our promises. Love is the fulfilling of the Law, as is written:


[8] Owe no man any thing, but to love one another: for he that loveth another hath fulfilled the law.
[9] For this, Thou shalt not commit adultery, Thou shalt not kill, Thou shalt not steal, Thou shalt not bear false witness, Thou shalt not covet; and if there be any other commandment, it is briefly comprehended in this saying, namely, Thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.
[10] Love worketh no ill to his neighbor: therefore love is the fulfilling of the law. Romans 13:8-10.

So, love is spiritual because it is the fulfilling of a law that is spiritual, and fulfilling that law is a part of worshiping God who is spiritual. Love is only possible through a daily living connection to Christ through the Spirit. To be connected to Him daily through the Spirit, we must deny self daily, crucify self daily, and to follow Him, daily.


So it is impossible to love without this daily connection to Christ. When we lose that connection is when we fail and mess up. The good thing is that when we fail and do mess up, we can carry our crosses and die to self by asking christ for forgiveness and asking for His help because we are frail and weak. We cannot love in the flesh and on our own. Only by His Spirit dwelling in our hearts by faith can we do it.

It is true! We definitely cannot keep these promises on our and in the flesh. Christ has to help us through the dwelling of the Spirit in our hearts. Only by His help can we do the Lord's will which is love.

So promises made to God to love Him and our neighbor as ourselves can only be kept by striving to maintain a daily connection to Him through the Spirit. So, let us carry our crosses daily and by the Spirit's help we can keep our promises to love God and our neighbor.